I am not a skinny girl. Never have been, not holding my breath that I ever will be. But I'm okay with that. Being comfortable in your own skin is something that a lot of people struggle with, but I'm happy to say that I am comfortable. 


What I'm not comfortable with is my relationship with food. I let my brother pay be back with an ice cream sandwich the other day...it was delicious. President's Choice ice cream sandwich - peanut butter - in all its salty, sweet, ice creamy, cookie goodness. However, it did not cover the $10 he owed me; it only satisfied a fleeting moment of boredom. Story of my life...I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I have feelings, I eat when I have feelings about being bored or when I'm bored with having feelings. 


The worst part?? I genuinely love food. I love exploring flavours and textures and spices and eating food that makes you feel good from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. I love food that can take a meal and turn it into an experience. 


My husband and I recently went to Victoria, BC and spent most of our 4 days there eating the most amazing seafood. The halibut filet that essentially melted in my mouth as I sat and looking out at the water, the enormous platter of crab legs, oysters, salmon and a plethora of other items that made me want to undo my pants because I couldn't convince myself to stop eating, it was all amazing. The food is a major part of what made that trip memorable my lack of self control is what will make that trip stick with me...mostly in my midsection.


I am confident that I am not unique in my approach to food and the result I have been left with. I have tried, what seems like, countless diets. I have hired personal trainers, seen dieticians, seriously contemplated taking on an eating disorder (that didn't work out, didn't have the stomach for it....ha!). All of it with short term success. I found, even if I followed the program to the letter, once I hit my goal, I was already on my way back to where I started. None of these programs taught me how to eat on my own. I always find myself falling in to my old habits and realizing that I only put them on hold and didn't overcome them and then they seem to come back 10 fold. 1 step forward, 10 pounds back, or 20. 


So here's my plan...I'm not going to stop eating. I'm going to try and eat better, smarter, and more delicious food. I'm going to venture to transform my eating experience into an ongoing life experience. I'm going to challenge myself to understand food. I'm basically going to try and court it. I'm going to flirt with it, get to know it, what it likes, what it doesn't like, how to care for it and love it, and then I'm going to reel it in and have a seriously intense relationship with it. And I'm going to tell you every, single detail. So fellow eaters, lend me your ear (or eyes since this is online) and let me share my journey.


Until next time.


-M