So, I woke up the other morning, sleepily stumbled into the bathroom, started my morning routine, looked down...BAM! There was that stupid scale. Covered in dust, taunting me. So, I sidled up to it, thinking to myself "It's just a number! You're starting something, you didn't need a scale to get you there. This number is going to be nothing but an affirmation of your progress. It'll be FINE!" So, as my bare feet came down on it's dusty glass, I held my breath. I waited while it flashed at me, tried not to move, sucked my tummy in and finally....my number flashed. Well, I'm not going to tell you what it was, but I was pleasantly surprised. It wasn't great, but I've seen worse.


I'm not going to let that number hold any power over me. I am no longer going to let it make me feel guilty or sad. I'm not going to let it loom over me or allow me to beat myself up over what it could mean. I'm using it only as a measure of where I've come from. The part that is really going to matter to me is how I feel. My energy levels, how my clothes fit, and how I hold myself are going to be the real markers of my progress. Not some number. 


I think we, too easily, fall into a pattern of letting that number trap us. I'm not saying that it's okay that we let our weight balloon and it doesn't matter as long as we feel good. But I'm saying there is nothing wrong with weighing a little more and being healthy and HAPPY! It's not impossible. For me I'm working on the healthy thing. If you've spent any time with me recently you'll know that I'm a pretty happy person so that's not a problem. 


So, how is my battle going?? I know you're dying to know! It's been great!! Just this morning, I made myself something extra delicious for breakfast. 1 Cup Pancakes, Tropical Yogurt, and Mango - I got the recipe from Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution book. SUPER easy! 

Your mouth is watering right?! So here's the recipe (it serves about 4)


For the Flavoured Yogurt: 
2 Ripe Bananas
a handful of unsweetened shredded coconut (I used sweetened because that's what I had)
1 Cup of Natural Yogurt


 Mix it all together - put it to the side


For the Pancakes:
1 Egg
1 cup flour
1 cup of milk
1 tsp. Baking Powder
sea salt 
2 mangoes (sliced)
2 tablespoons butter - I used coconut oil here and it was a great alternative
Lime


Mix the egg, flour, milk, baking powder and salt together until smooth. Heat your pan to medium, slap on the butter, let it melt, bake up some delicious pancakes, top with yogurt and mangoes, spritz with lime if you want and TA DA! Fabulous! 


This recipe is going to be super easy to adjust and make your own, change out fruits and flavours to your hearts content. This is the kind of foundation food I'm talking about! And the serving size is great - I went with two small pancakes rather than 1 big one, sticking with the whole perspective thing, put on about 1/4 yogurt and lots of mango. Slapped it all on a smaller plate and called it done! 


I am ready to start my day! I am ready to climb a mountain and I am ready...to paint the ceiling. Balls.


-M

Breakfast. We've always been told how important it is. That we should always make an effort to eat it. I'm sure my husband can testify the impact a breakfast meal has had on him. He is a diabetic and for the longest time wouldn't have his first meal until 10 or 11 in the morning, after starting work at least 4 hours prior. But, he starting getting some food in his system first thing and his energy levels went up, his insulin became more effective and he was just generally more pleasant. So, apparently, it works.

I love breakfast. It is, hands down, my most favourite meal to eat and prepare. There is just so much you can do when getting ready for that meal. The only downside, as with anything, is time. This morning I got to sleep in. I got to take my time and prepare myself a meal. Looked a little something like this...

Please take note of my smaller plate and bowl...seriously, that piece of toast looks HUGE! Had some scrambled eggs (1 whole egg, and an additional egg white), throw in some veggies (sauteed in water!), garlic, pepper, basil, oregano and parsley. Throw it on a piece of 12 grain bread, a side of fresh raspberries and a cup of coffee, sweetened with honey. It was D-E-L-I-C-I-O-U-S! AND! It felt great to make it. The smell of the cooking onions, the hint of herb wafting throughout the house, the tang of the raspberry. This is what I'm talking about people!! I felt good making it and I felt good eating it. I didn't follow a recipe, I just went with what I liked. I heard somewhere, that If you like certain flavours why not try combining them. If they are good apart, chances are they will be good together!

Sure, I played it safe, went with foods and flavours anyone would be comfortable with, but I made it my own. Everyone has to start somewhere. We've all heard of K.I.S.S right? Keep it simple, stupid. I think, when it comes to food, and my journey to understand it, this couldn't be more true. There is no reason this needs to be complicated.  I'll keep my approach to food similar to my approach to clothes...If I don't understand it, I'm probably not going to buy it. I'm going to start with a foundation, and accessorize, expanding my horizons bit by bit as I go.

But what am I going to do if I don't get to sleep in? I have to be at work at 5am tomorrow. That doesn't leave a ton of time to get up and make myself some pancakes. I struggle with this every morning. I just don't have the drive to get up extra early. Hell, I often shower the night before so I can get that extra bit of sleep. Getting up even earlier for breakfast is not my idea of a good time. Not when I have to be at work at 7:30. Sleep is part of a healthy lifestyle too, right?! So, this is my challenge for myself. Find some breakfast solutions. EXCITING breakfast solutions. I'm tired of packing oatmeal every morning, and dry cereal just isn't making the cut for me anymore. So, I'm off to explore, try new things. Make a plan and be successful.

I'm putting out a call to you too...tell me what's working for you. What do you do to get started in the morning? Let's share our stories! The successes, the failures, the laughter, the tears. Why? Well because..

Thanks guys!

-M

Coffee
Ice Cream
Cookies
Milk Chocolate
BREAD!


These are a few of my favourite things! These are the things I refuse to cut out of my life. 


I don't believe that we should cut the things we want out of our diet. What's the point? Often I just find myself resenting the diet gods for telling me ice cream is bad for me and that I can't eat it. We always want what we can't have, right? But, it's a slippery slope my friends. So my focus for this week...EVERYTHING IN MODERATION! 


It sounds so simple! It should be simple! We've all heard it our whole lives! There is such a thing as too much of a good thing! Chapman's Peanut Butter Frozen Yogurt...it's my latest weakness. It's a "I don't need a bowl" kind of thing. A, "if i pack as much as I can into one scoop, it's still just one scoop right? Doesn't matter if the scoop is the size of my head! It's just one!" kind of thing. It's wonderful! So, I'm going to try and use some reverse psychology (or something like that). Instead of one giant scoop, how about a smaller bowl? A smaller plate? A smaller glass? How about a change of perspective?


The more I think about it, I mean really sit and think, I discover that my problem is all in my perspective. And when I say perspective, I mean, on life and everything that goes with it.  I battled depression for a long time and learned to eat my feelings early. Throughout high school, it was a struggle. I think the only thing that saved me from ballooning back then was that I was an athlete. I probably burned off what I ate at a fairly consistent rate, I also had a little bit of a metabolism (just a touch though). But then, graduation happened. I was done with sports, my groups of friends changed and my emotions got out of control. I just couldn't manage them. There didn't seem to be enough food in the world to feed the appetite of my sadness. I started packing on the pounds and never got to feel any better. 


It wasn't until after I got married that I recognized I needed some additional support. I went to the doctor, got me some great little pills, and started my journey to recognizing who I really am. Now, 5 years later, I'm off the pills and I'm coming to terms with the person I am. I'm finally comfortable in my own skin. 


So, what does this have to do with weight loss? What does it not have to do with it?!? This is my beginning, this is where food and I started off. This is where I go back to in an effort to go forward. Maybe you can relate, maybe you can see yourself in different parts of my story, maybe you were just to scared to talk about it. But Honey! We are all in same boat, floating on the same ocean with the same waves beating against us every day. We are in this together! 
--------------------
Side note on depression - my personal feelings on the whole thing...it does not need to be a big ugly secret! Chances are, if you talk about it, you'll be hard pressed to find someone who hasn't been affected by it. I'm sure there is some crazy stat out there that says 1 in every 1 Canadian will suffer from depression in their lifetime. Talk about it, get help, be brave. I am strictly speaking from personal experience here, no medical background, just a chubby, formally sad, girl telling her story. 

I am not a skinny girl. Never have been, not holding my breath that I ever will be. But I'm okay with that. Being comfortable in your own skin is something that a lot of people struggle with, but I'm happy to say that I am comfortable. 


What I'm not comfortable with is my relationship with food. I let my brother pay be back with an ice cream sandwich the other day...it was delicious. President's Choice ice cream sandwich - peanut butter - in all its salty, sweet, ice creamy, cookie goodness. However, it did not cover the $10 he owed me; it only satisfied a fleeting moment of boredom. Story of my life...I eat when I'm bored, I eat when I have feelings, I eat when I have feelings about being bored or when I'm bored with having feelings. 


The worst part?? I genuinely love food. I love exploring flavours and textures and spices and eating food that makes you feel good from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. I love food that can take a meal and turn it into an experience. 


My husband and I recently went to Victoria, BC and spent most of our 4 days there eating the most amazing seafood. The halibut filet that essentially melted in my mouth as I sat and looking out at the water, the enormous platter of crab legs, oysters, salmon and a plethora of other items that made me want to undo my pants because I couldn't convince myself to stop eating, it was all amazing. The food is a major part of what made that trip memorable my lack of self control is what will make that trip stick with me...mostly in my midsection.


I am confident that I am not unique in my approach to food and the result I have been left with. I have tried, what seems like, countless diets. I have hired personal trainers, seen dieticians, seriously contemplated taking on an eating disorder (that didn't work out, didn't have the stomach for it....ha!). All of it with short term success. I found, even if I followed the program to the letter, once I hit my goal, I was already on my way back to where I started. None of these programs taught me how to eat on my own. I always find myself falling in to my old habits and realizing that I only put them on hold and didn't overcome them and then they seem to come back 10 fold. 1 step forward, 10 pounds back, or 20. 


So here's my plan...I'm not going to stop eating. I'm going to try and eat better, smarter, and more delicious food. I'm going to venture to transform my eating experience into an ongoing life experience. I'm going to challenge myself to understand food. I'm basically going to try and court it. I'm going to flirt with it, get to know it, what it likes, what it doesn't like, how to care for it and love it, and then I'm going to reel it in and have a seriously intense relationship with it. And I'm going to tell you every, single detail. So fellow eaters, lend me your ear (or eyes since this is online) and let me share my journey.


Until next time.


-M